Write? Right. A Kill-Time Post.
Whenever I’m inspired to write something meaningful (and trust me, every time I’m inspired it’s about something meaningful), more often than not, it’s going to be when I don’t have the time or means to actually write.
I’m sitting in an Austin coffee shop waiting to start a meeting with an artist I met recently through a mutual film connection. We were to meet at 1 p.m. but he spaced and forgot — I’m not being insulting, that was his own term — so now I have some time to kill while he drives down here. I don’t mind, I like the rare instances when I have time to myself to do whatever I like.
So of course, I get the idea that I’m going to write something while I’m waiting. I don’t know what, but dammit, something’s going to get written, and it’s going to be fucking brilliant.
You see, that’s how it starts every time. I have some free time, a computer and a WiFi connection, and suddenly I’m empowered to change the world mit mein words. The creative juices are flowing, the battery is fully charged, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
Stall. Don’t dump the clutch, you moron. Give it more gas, and maybe also a little thought.
Inspiration is great until it comes time to produce, then the couch starts looking mighty inviting. Maybe tomorrow.
No, this time I am my own captive audience. I have nothing else to do right now besides write my masterpiece. I don’t know what it’s about yet, but if they can make a hit TV program about nothing, I can certainly do the same on the internet. Everyone’s important on the internet. I read that on the internet. So, here goes:
If I were a tree,
Nevermind, Rolf just showed up. Maybe tomorrow.


Did manage to read until the end – that’s a good one Darren. Hehe…will be waiting for you ‘masterpiece’ soon
Haha.
If I were a tree